MANY may recall him when he appeared on the small screen on the now-defunct local popular soap opera, Studio 263, playing the role of John Huni. He is Stephen Chigorimbo, a renowned filmmaker and actor.
As a celebrity, Chigorimbo has not lived a flawless life. He has made mistakes and has regrets. He serves God and has found new passion.
NewsDay Weekender caught up with Chigorimbo, who spoke about his upbringing, large family and broken marriages, among others.
Upbringing
I have been very fortunate to have a very good relationship with my Creator from the time I was born. I come from a prayerful family and that has been the reason for the blessed life that I have lived so far. I was brought up in a Pentecostal church.
I am a very spiritual person and I am a pastor in the Apostolical Holy Church. I wear a white garment with a red belt. My mother was an active singer in church and my grandfather was a drummer at rainmaking ceremonies. I was brought up in a family of artists as well as masvikiro, as they call them.
Family
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I have 14 children. Not all from one wife. My children are educated and I acknowledge God’s grace in everything.
They were able to get scholarships to study outside the country. Seven of them have at least a Master’s degree and my youngest, who is 25, enrolled at a golf school in Cape Town, South Africa.
All I did was to go on my knees and ask in prayer. I also had film projects that I was doing that helped me afford school fees for all my children. None of them would say I did not take care of my responsibilities as a father.
Relationships
I am in my fifth marriage. My first marriage ended in divorce when my ex-wife (now late) and I had two children. I was 24, I had a good job, I was tall, dark and handsome, let us just put it that way. I had all the means, money and I was sweet with words.
I got into a situation and one thing led to another. I impregnated another girl I worked with on a film project, who then gave birth to my eldest son.
I had told her that I could not marry her because I was a married man who had his family.
However, I went to her family and settled damages. My first wife could not accept how that happened. She just could not take it. She divorced me, but I loved her anyway.
When I married her, I was a young and prayerful man to whom she never thought I would hurt her.
She perceived it as betrayal, you know when you are young you make a lot of promises like there will never be another woman, but you.
As it happens, that is not true and a man cannot make such a statement.
A man is born with a hunting instinct and when that kicks in, it is difficult to fight. I have very good relationships with my ex-wives for the sake of our children.
It is important for parents to be in their children’s lives even though they could not maintain a good relationship themselves.
Whatever happens between parents has nothing to do with the children and they do not have to be affected by those choices and actions.
Handling separation
My first divorce hurt me very badly because I did not expect it. When the papers arrived from the lawyers that she was divorcing me, I had a very difficult week after receiving those papers, but reality set in.
Fortunately, when I was going through difficult times, I met another girl, and this cushioned the pain in a way.
I was cautious in my next relationship because I did not want to get hurt again.
I learnt my lessons from my first marriage, then I became honest to not promise anyone anything knowing that it can happen, and life is like that. Most women understand these issues, except when you would have promised her.
Of children trouble
There was a time that my two sons abused drugs while pursuing their studies at tertiary institutions outside the country.
One was at Stellenbosch University in South Africa in his third year. He succumbed to peer pressure and got into substance abuse. He was suspended from school and he was nowhere to be found.
When the word came to me, I travelled to South Africa to talk with him. I was concerned as a father because he is my eldest son who carries my name and looks just like my father.
I sent him a message to come and talk. He looked bad and he was not presentable. I encouraged him to go back to finish his studies.
A couple of days later, he got back to school. He has done well and his drug issues came under control.
Another one had the same problem while in the United States (US). He dropped out of school and it was serious and he became a problem there. I went to the US to look for him.
When he heard that I had come, he punished me. He said he did not want to see me because he was bitter about my separation with his mother. So, I came back without seeing him, but we were able to talk over the phone.
It took some time, but he quit drugs and called me a year later saying that he was sorry and he wanted to come home to Zimbabwe. I encouraged him to sort out his qualifications and finish school.
Now he is working for one of the airlines and I am expecting him next year. It is a blessing. I know many people that have given up on their children when they get into drugs selling their parents valuable property to buy such substances.
Becoming a church leader
I was once a church elder at Apostolic Faith Mission. In 2012, my uncle who founded a church in 1975 became ill and I had to look after him. Six months later, he passed on.
Leadership problems then emerged and church leaders who used to come to see my uncle, who was the bishop, approached me to lead the church. I had trained as a pastor and I had been an elder for a long time.
Views on church
The church nowadays is under serious attack from the devil. Instead of concentrating on finding God, church leaders want money.
Others have taken church as a way of generating money like it is a project. They have found an excuse to use religion as a means of accumulating wealth and stealing from people.
Just like what happened when whites came to colonise Zimbabwe, they hid behind religion saying our African traditional religion was demonic, so they wanted to bring God to Africa when what they really wanted was our minerals and rich fertile lands.
Imagine hundreds of people paying tithes. Some of the prophecies and miracles performed in churches are not godly.
Mother support
My mother is alive and she stays with us at my house in Marlborough. She is 95. We have been staying together for five years. I took her into my custody because I realised that she would not be able to do other things by herself.
People that send their parents to old people’s homes because of their old age do not know what they are losing.
When you have them around, you put systems in place and the moments spent together are amazing.
They think about the inconveniences. Of course, elderly people require so much care, but parents are a blessing. It is a blessing.
Keeping fit
I have been very aware of my health. I watched my diet and as I grew older, I realised that most of the diseases are because of a good living without proper exercise. I jog and do my push-ups enough for a 73-year-old man. Once a week, I come and play golf.
Playing golf
My love for golf dates bacj to 1956 when my uncle invited me to Warren Hills Golf Club. We went there and I was a golf ball picker for the players.
During school holidays, I even earned money because of that, which was able to pay for my school fees sometimes.
In the 1970s, I was working for an insurance company, then I became an executive. I then joined Warren Hills Golf Club as a member. That is how I became a golf player.
By that time, white people were not welcoming blacks. They did not want to associate with us, but they could not refuse because I was a member.
Before we could play with those who wished to hang out with black people, we would wait until whites had finished. We were unable to play for the entire day on several occasions because no one was interested.
Golf is good for exercise because you walk. It also allows interaction with other people having meaningful conversations.
Golf is very interesting when you are into it such that nothing else excites me if not church, so it is either of the two. I cannot forget the film because it lives in me.
New passion
My passion now is my Christian work. I enjoy my work as a pastor praying for people, offering counselling and doing teachings at couple's fellowships.
I have five grandchildren whom I love dearly. Visiting my grandchildren is my favourite thing to do because I am healthy, we can run around and play like we are of the same age.
Grandchildren are better than your own children because you will be trying to teach them (children) the right things to do, but grandchildren are their parents’ problem. I just enjoy playing with them.
Regrets
A human being must have regrets because every day, we make mistakes. Like they say, “to err is human” and forgiveness is godly. The first person you should learn to forgive is yourself every time you are disappointed.
The basis of rebirth is forgiveness. It is important to say you are sorry when you have wronged someone and sometimes it is too late to say that.
The only things that we regret are opportunities we allow to go. My first marriage for example, I made a mistake and things turned out the other way, but I think I should have done better to make it work.
Lessons and advice
I learned a very important thing that in marriages and relationships there is a critical principle, do not be abusive or wrong to someone whom you said you love, intentionally. More importantly, do not allow the other person to abuse you.
People fall in love to make each other happy. When you are happy elsewhere and you want your spouse to feel it, you have lost the script as we say in film. As soon as the other person makes you feel unhappy, speak out.
It is better for people to divorce than to continue hurting each other. Others even end up killing their spouses. When you walk in with your eyes open, walk out with your eyes open.
