MUCKRAKER is always learning … and learning every day. Just observing developments that are taking place in structures of the reeling party. It has made him realise why slavery was such a bad thing that it had to be banned — it left many people without choices!
Only last week, the owner made it clear that, as a “constitutionalist”, his plans are to pass the shovel to someone else at the end of his current second term and take a well-deserved rest.
But it looks like his problem is actually being out of touch with realities on the ground.
And one such reality is that he created the problems for himself by being too good for the job. All his problems started with his decision to be the servant leader who is “as soft as wool” that he is, qualities that have endeared him to Zimbos so much that they now dread even to imagine what a tragedy it would be for them to go even for an hour without the blessing that he is!
Being the best there has ever been (and can ever be), the people are now demanding an encore, naturally! Can anyone in their right senses blame them?
And who is he, anyway, to disregard the hectoring voices of his masters — the masses — to continue plodding on in this thankless job of serving thankless Zimbos?
You see the problem with servant leadership is that it leaves one with no choice, just as any other form of servitude.
In this case, it actually would be treasonous for him to even think of refusing to serve his masters, let alone actually do so. With the masters speaking with one voice through the provinces up, only the Angel Gabriel can intervene to save him from this yoke of Ownership.
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Muck actually feels for our poor Owner because if there is ever someone in a real fix, then it is him. He simply cannot walk away with Vision 2030 still unaccomplished, the upper middle-income economy still not attained, illegal sanctions not removed unconditionally and, even more importantly, with the people — his insatiable masters — demanding more!
This is the predicament that our Owner faces. Get it from Muck! Never listen to those detractors that claim the man is good at indicating left then turning right … that he — like his newly found soulmate Paul Kagame — he has never had any plans of giving up power after getting it through a perfectly democratic military-assisted transaction that some hopeless dunderheads still insist was a coup even after repeated court pronouncements to the contrary.
Blown away
After ensuring that Frelimo is safe in Mozambique, the reeling party is now dutifully into Botswana where we are made to believe Anglo American is trying to topple Cde Mokgweetsi Masisi and his Botswana Democratic Party.
Masisi, who is proving to be a fast learner, is a man to believe. Only recently, he visited the iconic Precabe Farm near Kwekwe where he was “blown away” by what he discovered there … that the farm has granaries that are overflowing with grain, not just enough to feed Zimbabwe, but the whole of Africa!
“What I am proud of is that here is a President who feeds the people,” Cde Masisi said. “He doesn’t just feed Zimbabwe, he (also) feeds Africa. So, what he speaks about, is what he does!”
Masisi’s side-kick, Sadc (PF) secretary-general Elias Magosi, another Motswana, was handy to give his new boss a seal of approval. He wants regional leaders, hopefully including the stubborn Hakainde Hichilema of Zambia, to come to Zimbabwe for crush lessons on leadership.
“And I think they have to come here and learn what Zimbabwe is doing, including the banking systems and so forth. It’s an entire ecosystem.”
Surely, with a combination like this, Muck has no reason to doubt those that are predicting that Botswana is now on a fast lane to become “another African country”, whatever that is supposed to mean!
Anyway, with this discovery at Precabe Farm, Muck has no doubt that Sadc is now calling back its US$5,5 billion appeal for food aid, which is competing for attention with Zimbabwe’s own US$3,3 billion similar appeal. So much about a President who feeds his people!
A world of wonders
Still on being blown away, Muckraker has been blown away by the good news that is remindful of the good old days of Cde Joseph Made, the former agriculture minister under our former owner, Bob!
As the country is currently importing thousands of metric tonnes in cereals this year, Tinotenda Mhiko, CEO of the Agricultural and Rural Development Authority (Arda), was last week named the runaway winner of the 2024 Africa Food Prize, receiving a US$100 000 award for his “ground-breaking leadership and innovation in advancing food security through strategic irrigation initiatives, which is revolutionising Zimbabwe’s food systems”.
Muck will not be unpatriotic as to try to be so foolish as to try and find any link between this award and the US$3,3 billion begging bowl that is currently going around in the name of Zimbabwe, lest he is accused of being jealous.
The reality here is that Mhiko is doing wonders at Arda, wonders that leave everyone really wondering in this world of wonders! Only last week, did Zesa not grab the overall winner’s price in the energy sector at the just-ended Zimbabwe Agricultural Show?
Ban as a solution
Zimbos, ever ungrateful, never see anything good in the Owners of the Country, vene. Until now, they were complaining that the Sadc (PF) was not worthwhile. Now they have something to thank vene for.
Transport and Infrastructure Development minister Felix Mhona says just US$1,7 billion went towards the resurfacing of roads in Harare in the run-up to the landmark summit. Only US$1,7 billion for all those roads!
Cde Mhona was back in the news later in the week … this time to announce a ban on kombis from distances longer than 60km.
If you ask Muck, banning is one of the best solutions ever invented under the sun. It solves all the problems, whatever they are!
Still on the ban mentality, Edgar Moyo, the Energy minister, announced through Statutory Instrument 150, the banning of the sale of unleaded petrol in Zimbabwe — in other words, making blending of petrol with Cde Billy Rautenbach’s ethanol mandatory.
The decision that a few unpatriotic Zimbos are protesting will certainly “stimulate local industries, including biofuel production, creating jobs and boosting the economy”.
If Muck could have the ear of the “listening President”, he would whisper to him that such patriotic bans should extend beyond just unleaded petrol … to include a ban on being sober.
Come to think of it, it also has equally vast potential to stimulate local industries, creating jobs and boosting the economy!
Just parallels
Palestinian ambassador to Zimbabwe Tamer Almassri this week paid a courtesy call to Zanu PF’s secretary-general Obert Mpofu at Shake Shake Building.
Almassri told the once Most Obedient Son and everyone else who cared to listen that Sadc (PF) is now in safe hands … that it will surely benefit from its new Ownership’s “commitment to transparency, accountability and good governance, (which) will serve as a model for the region … blah, blah!”
Muck can imagine how it would feel to Almassri if some ungrateful Zimbos — ever grateful for their God-given Ownership — taking a cue from him, would start singing Israeli praises for its “commitment to peace, justice and human rights”, etc.
Re-Stole Legacy
Our owner and his Second Republic have done it once again! When Zimbos are told that global firms are stampeding to invest in Zimbabwe, they laugh. Yet the Second Republic has managed to dribble past the illegal sanctions imposed on the country by the evil West to bring even America’s Starlink into the country, much to the relief of citizens who were being fleeced of their hard-earned money by shameless telecoms.
These are some of the low-hanging fruits of Operation Re-Stole Legacy that Zimbos are now enjoying.
