THIS article is in remembrance of a friend, Otildah “Womandla” Ndhlovu, who passed away on Thursday.
One of the statements that she loved to say is: “I was born ready”.
She oozed with palpable confidence as a speaker and as a teacher at Petra High School.
She was a professional public speaker, certified communicator, rhetoric specialist and a teacher. We co-authored some articles on public speaking.
This article is about building confidence. Confidence is a soft skill essential in the market place or job environment.
Before people buy into your product or service, they buy into your confidence.
Every person has their personal fears. It could be the fear of dying or public speaking.
These fears cripple our confidence and sap out so much energy from us. Ndhlovu had this inner drive of not giving up despite the odds.
I am always on stage doing public speaking, but the moment I am about to deliver my talk, my heart beats at a faster rate, my hands sweet and phlegm comes to my throat.
This is natural and genuine fear. I can’t stop public speaking because of that. I have learnt techniques to conquer that phobia. I have mustered to go against my fear.
I usually coach people when they have been called for an interview and the number one thing that most of them ask is: How do I build my confidence? Or how do I conquer fear?
Some people hold themselves back because they lack confidence. When you have confidence, you are at your best and deliver your skills like an expert.
If you have confidence you have a higher level of self-esteem. What is self-esteem? This is basically your opinion of yourself.
Live in the now
Ndhlovu always said, “Jonah, you must live in the moment”. Remember, we only know your past, we should live in our present and prepare for tomorrow.
We should not be pressed by our past and ponder about the future and fail to live in the now. That builds our confidence and strategically helps us to move in this life.
‘Just do it’
Some people want to be perfect before they embark on any project. Perfection is made in progress. Some people wait for such a time when they think all things will be perfect.
They simplest means to fight your fear, it is just to do the very thing that you are afraid of. As the Nike mantra says, “Just do it!”. The moment your heart pounds, Just do it!
Align to purpose
Many people do the very things that they were not created to do. Ultimately, they struggle through and through in life. Know what you can do naturally and hone your skill in that line.
For example, when we are at school, we know the subject we love and excel in without too much effort.
I was great in literature and I aligned my career to that. Know what you are good at and do that. It is called talent, ability or purpose.
Speak positively
Talk yourself to the top. Self-talk either grounds us or makes us fly in life. We do most of the talking ourselves. The person you spend the most of the time with is “you”.
Before anyone talks you down or up, talk rightly to yourself. Do not talk at the level of your poverty or unpleasant circumstances.
Practise
Proficiency or competency builds confidence. Work on your craft until you are defined by it.
First, be a learner in life and stay hungry. If you have the “I-know-it-all” attitude, you miss out on learning.
Second, practise, practise and practise every day. Do not wait for an opportunity and then you start improving your skill, but prepare before the opportunity comes.
Third, put into action the very things that you have learnt.
Put up a step
Body language speaks. People do not know what is going on inside of you until you show it off through how you walk, shake hands or smile.
Sit up bolt upright, shoulders back, chin up and have good eye contact.
Do ‘you’
Some people are not comfortable about their looks or stature. They prefer to look like others.
Probably that is why they have plastic surgery, bleach their skin, even extend their hair or twitch their voice.
All the while, you have to appreciate who you are and learn to live with it. Just be comfortable in your own skin.
Kick them out
There are some people who should not be in our lives. They see nothing good in us, always offer destructive criticism and they are very negative.
That’s a cruel prison. The best is just to avoid them, and kick them out of your space.
Parting point: Gather strength and do it. American author and motivational speaker Jack Canfield said, “People who ask confidently get more than those who are hesitant and uncertain. When you’ve figured out what you want to ask for, do it with certainty, boldness and confidence. Don’t be shy or feel intimidated by the experience. You may face some unexpected criticism, but be prepared for it with confidence.”
If ever there was one person who exuded confidence, it was Ndhlovu. She knew how to make her presence felt using the power of gab. May her soul rest in peace.
