Success in silence

By Tim Middleton | Sep. 8, 2024

Margaret Thatcher, the former British Prime Minister, once said that “Being powerful is like being a lady; if you have to say you, are, you are not”.

MANY years ago, a group of boys were taken to see a play in London by their teacher. While the prospect of the play did not entirely appeal to them, they were glad of the outing away from boarding school and were chatting to each other prior to the start of the play. When a naked lady appeared swinging across the stage on a rope, it is safe to say that their attention was gained (all that could be heard was the sound of coins being inserted into the binocular stands). To their great disappointment, however, neither the lady or her like were seen again.

In a similar way, the opening paragraph above may also have attracted the attention of those who are brave enough to read this but readers are advised to read no further if they are looking for the mention of a naked lady. Many people will look at the opening sentence of a book (maybe if they are lucky, the first page) and decide if it is worth reading on – if the reader has reached this far in this article, then the first paragraph worked! However, we should not judge the book by its opening.

Of course, some may decide whether or not to read a book (or article) based on its title (or heading). Thus, it will be a fair assumption that not many people will be drawn to read the novel of the nineteenth century author, George Eliot, entitled ‘The Mill On The Floss’. However, interestingly, it is believed that it was in that novel that the first use was found of the familiar statement, “Do not judge a book by its cover”. It is entirely true that we should not judge a book by its cover; it is simply a veneer, a façade, (or charade), nothing of substance. We should judge it after we have read it fully and then by its relevance, eloquence, significance and depth.

Rightly, we have taken this statement to mean that we should not judge people by their appearances; we should get to read people firstly and get to know their contribution, sincerity, integrity. So, at school, we should not judge a child’s worth or future prospect by their marks.

When it comes to school sport, we should continue in the vein of not judging a school by their results, in other words, by their cover (which nowadays tends to be their social media) – all such is in vain. Nelson Mandela is quoted as saying that “Do not judge me by my successes; judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again”. Yet schools only publicise their results and especially their wins, pointing out all the good things. Have we ever heard or read one say “we were dreadful; we played very poorly. We have so much to learn”? But is that not the whole point – to learn from mistakes, to get back up again? Results, especially victories, can hide so much that is important.

Margaret Thatcher, the former British Prime Minister, once said that “Being powerful is like being a lady; if you have to say you, are, you are not”. The same applies to being successful. We can see if someone or a school is successful, not by such petty superficial things as results (especially sports results). We do not need to have to tell people; they will see it. Siya Kolisi, the Springbok rugby captain, in his book ‘Rise’, quoted someone else saying, “Judge me by my silence”. There lies a hidden gem of truth. Silence is deafening; silence is golden! Silence is eloquence!

A school may have one brilliant result; they may even have one brilliant season. However, do not judge the school by those simple facts. In golf, they say there is no ‘Comment’ column, just the result but life is not like that and school must not be like that. The ‘comments’ (what we find out when we read the book or the person) are what determines if it is valuable and enriching. To clarify what Mandela said, it is not simply about getting up after a loss or failure; it is about how many times we manage to do that. It is hard to come back after one defeat; it is even harder to do so after two, then three or four. We do not worry about how many times they fell; it is about how many times they got back up. That is far more revealing than the results with no comment. Read the book; watch them play; read their character.

Do not judge this article by its heading (or any photo); do not judge it by the number of people who read it or agree with it. Do not judge it by its literary quality (or lack) or humour or illustration. Judge it by what is contained in it. So, do not judge a school by its sporting results; judge them by their silence; judge them by how often they go back after losses. Then we will judge you by your silence.