FORMER United States president Joseph Biden pardoned six relatives, including his son Hunter, before handing over the reins of power to Donald Trump, who himself started his official duties by pardoning the 1 500-plus of his fellow thugs that stormed Capitol Hill in January 2021 as they protested for him.
Now, where are those who claim that the global balance of trade is dangerously eschewed against Africa? Here is another perfect example of the continent’s finest export — criminal abuse of office!
When our Owner and his counterparts on the continent are doing their thing, many in the West are enviously watching and busy taking notes.
We can all see that the latest developments come straight from an African ruler’s notebook.
Trump, who appears to have taken copious notes from the rule of our late Robert Mugabe — who in his youth, would separate his cattle from those of the other boys even after the slightest of disagreements and went on to withdraw Zimbabwe from the Commonwealth after criticism of his misrule — has just announced that the US is pulling out of the World Health Organisation. He may consider leaving the United Nations (UN) altogether!
What good news to us Zimbos; we can start lobbying for the UN headquarters to come to Harare and we would also seek to introduce an all-powerful post of UN chairperson — “for the benefit of the world” — which naturally would come to us!
This is another valid cause for doing away with the presidential term limit nonsense in our constitution!
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The Sunday Mail teased anxious Zimbos with a headline to the effect that (In)Justice minister Ziyambi Ziyambi was clarifying the criminal act of vandalising the national constitution to allow our Owner to extend his unwelcome stay beyond 2028, but the premier propaganda weekly ended up quoting the Zvimba West reject only saying he could not pre-empt the criminal act as it would be informed by other developments on the ground.
Obviously, all criminal exploits rely on an element of surprise on their victims, so we would not expect Ziyambi to tell Zimbos how this whole crime is going to be committed.
Treasonous statement
Some religious leaders this week issued a statement in which they appealed to our Owner to abandon his plot to extend his unwelcome presence in the lives of suffering Zimbos.
The leaders expressed their objection to what they rightly referred to as “third term” which involves the desecration of the constitution to extend the term of the incumbent by another five long years.
What Muckraker knows for sure is that like Cde Andrew Wutawunashe, Cde Nehemiah Mutendi, Cde Fidelis Mukonori, Cde Johannes Ndanga and many others that are part of the system that has been oppressing Zimbos, are not part of that “treasonous” statement.
Any day from now, we expect to see them coming out to distance themselves from the statement. It is their God-given duty to support whatever the owners of the country decide to do.
By the way, there are those farm implements loans from the Gideon Gono-era Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe that remain outstanding, so we do not have to remind the church leaders of the importance of always doing the right thing.
This 5 O-levels killjoy
This five Ordinary level requirement that was introduced by the Zimbabwe Football Association (Zifa) is becoming something else, Muck can tell you. As a result, Zimbos are now suddenly aware that Walter Magaya, who has the chutzpah of naming his money-spinning venture PHD, does not even possess five O-level passes. The same with “Sabhuku” Temba Mliswa as the babbler-mouth’s highest qualification is a gym certificate!
This explains why a 2019 petition to parliament by one Blessing Kudhlande for the amendment of the constitution to make O-level education a basic requirement for legislators never saw the light of day.
“I wish to inform the House that on 14th January, 2019, parliament received a petition from Mr Blessing Chamwapuwa Kudhlande requesting parliament to amend Sections 91 and 125 of the constitution to provide for minimum educational qualifications for election as president and member of the National Assembly,” Deputy Speaker of Parliament Cde Tsitsi Gezi told the House of Assembly.
She told legislators that the petition had since been referred to the Portfolio Committee on Justice, Legal and Parliamentary Affairs, the same committee that is currently trying to hurry illegal term extensions for our Owner and parliament.
We don’t have to ask why Mliswa, Joseph Chinotimba and others did not look favourably at Kuhlande’s request.
Meanwhile, Muck would like to reassure those Zimbos that are beginning to doubt that the Owner himself has five O-Level passes that there is no smidgeon of truth in the tendentious claims to the contrary.
Feeding trough
Though surprised, Muck was, however, not amused by the news that last week, a high-powered Zimbo delegation was in Kazan, Russia, “for a technical exchange programme that will inform the re-designing of the Mbare Musika Traders market into a modern facility”.
Please don’t ask Muck what it is that is so special about this market that would necessitate such “a technical exchange programme”, because all what we know is that everyone in the system and their relatives are actively looking for lucrative opportunities to feast and this trip is certainly one of those opportunities.
The use of the term “technical” is technically strategic … just a camouflage to fool Zimbos into thinking that there is something out of the ordinary that can only be learnt in Russia, of all places on earth.
Anyway, let us wait for the new facility when it eventually goes up, to see that which is uniquely beneficial to those poor traders who had their livelihoods burnt in that mysterious fire to make way for the criminal gang that has since taken up the space.
‘Shake Shake’ first!
Chief (In)Justice Cde Luke Malaba wants traditional leaders to undergo legal and ethical training so that citizens are not stripped of their dignity when they appear before their (mostly) kangaroo courts.
While Cde Malaba’s call was obviously prompted by the extreme case of Chief Nyamaropa — which able human rights lawyers have since taken up — we suggest that this training should start with politicians since these traditional leaders are, to all intents and purposes, just mjibhas of the misruling Zanu PF party.
These chiefs only copy what they see their principals do. It would do everyone a lot of good if the programme would start at “Shake Shake Building”, before it descends to the chiefs and other party foot soldiers.
