I AM having the worst driving experience in my whole life, on a daily basis. Maybe my driver’s licence of 1982 is no longer valid, and I need to get a new one. I am not sure if there have been any changes to the Highway Code that I used back then. If not, I will make 10 initial suggestions for amendments and hope that the powers-that-be will take heed.
The first amendment I would suggest is that street kids or anyone who dares be officially recognised as traffic controllers. I saw a mother with a baby on her back the other day at a busy intersection in Harare. She took charge of the intersection by Borrowdale Junior School, as the traffic light was not working.
All that is required is for the Traffic Safety Council of Zimbabwe to train the street kids and street mothers to do traffic control duties properly.
The problem is that they abandon their duties when a generous motorist puts out a wad of bond notes, thereby endangering the other motorists.
I actually do appreciate the work they are doing but I also recognise the danger they put me in as they are not trained.
Furthermore, I have seen a street adult lying right at the middle of the intersection of Simon Mazorodze Road and Remembrance Drive, most likely very high on crystal methamphetamine or cough mixture.
I have witnessed a young girl, probably around 10 years old, directing traffic at the Herbert Chitepo Road and Prince Edward Street intersection. She actually raised her hand in full confidence, and under her authority, a police car had to stop. I wanted to cry.
The second amendment I would suggest is for allowing cars to occupy the oncoming lane at certain times of the day. For instance, in the morning rush hour, if you are driving out of town along Josiah Tongogara Street, you have to give way to traffic driving towards town. You do not have much choice as some of the drivers are quite daring, especially those driving kombis and mshikashikas. They may possibly be high on drugs or might have not slept for four days. If you do not get out of the way of the mshikashika, you will soon be mushaikashaika (the dead and lost).
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The third amendment is to recognise that given the seriousness of potholes on most of our roads, you can fail your driver’s licence test if you maintain a straight path.
You need to weave in and out of the road and even face oncoming traffic to avoid a crater in the middle of the road.
Also, if you are found driving straight, you may be given a breathalyser test as you must be drunk not to see the pothole. Do our police officers have breathalysers?
The fourth amendment is to give respect to the kids or gentlemen who hang behind a kombi driving at 80 km per hour. They are very brave or very stupid. I have never seen the kombi driver with such hangers-on being brought to book by the police.
The amendment will be the car behind such a kombi to keep a distance in order not to run over these hanging kids in case they fall off.
The fifth amendment is to allow for texting or talking on the phone while driving. It looks like almost every driver does this.
I must admit, I try by all means never to touch my cellphone while driving. But that is difficult. I need to look at the GPS now and again.
But in so doing, I come across a seemingly urgent WhatsApp message which wants me to respond with a “Kkkkk.”
The sixth is that “do not be angry” when someone else violates road rules, such as not giving you way at an uncontrolled and jammed-up intersection.
There are no rules there. It used to be “give way to traffic from your right.” But now it is, “If you are not aggressive, you will not get in.”
So, if someone is aggressively cutting in from your left, do not be angry as you are most likely doing the same to the guy on your right.
Be calm and pray that a street kid may come to take control of the chaos. Street kids seem to have faster response times than the police.
The seventh amendment is to allow for guessing of the colour of the traffic light. For instance, when a traffic light goes from red to blank, you can proceed.
However, you have to know the intersection’s sequence as some intersections have filter arrows for the opposite traffic to turn right before you.
If you do not know this sequence, you are headed for an accident. For your defence, you may claim that your traffic light was blank which means “green”.
Another dilemma which you will come across is a traffic light which is both red and green at the same instance. You have to quickly make up your mind if this means go or stop.
You can only guess by seeing the confidence of the other traffic from your left and from your right that the traffic light is green for them. If you proceed without care, you are headed for an accident.
However, the mshikashika behind you is impatient and will overtake you and butt in causing more chaos.
So, the eighth amendment for the Highway Code should be to say, “Proceed with care when approaching a red and green traffic light. Red overrides green. Also give way to impatient traffic behind you.”
Amendment number nine is that “Proceed with care at non-functioning traffic lights as there may be a sole policeman or policewoman trying his or her best to control the traffic but cannot be seen as they may be dwarfed by big trucks. The fact that you cannot see them due to either their height or their grey uniform is no defence.”
Perhaps if they were on a raised platform, it might help.
The tenth amendment is: “Just because there are no road markings does not mean they are not there. If you look closely, you will see them. If road markings are truly not there, just imagine that they are there, especially at pedestrian crossings.”
I could not resist to sneak in an eleventh amendment, which is: “There are no more speed traps, but still drive within a reasonable speed limit.”
But then again, “reasonable” is at the discretion of the individual. For instance, I have seen big cars driving at high speed on Sunday morning, of all days. This most likely is a deacon or deaconess, late for his or her duties. Or could it be a late pastor?
