I USED to think that babies and toddlers were the hardest to parent, with all the sleep deprivation, bodily fluids and baby proofing that come with that age range.
It felt like my children were trying really hard to get themselves killed, and we spent our waking hours standing sentinel and worrying that all that stood between my daughters and certain doom, was a flimsy plastic cabinet lock.
Those were the days of guacamole in the hair and 3am wake-up calls, but at least we got nap time to recover and get our groove back.
Now that I am the mom of a tween and an almost tween, I find myself dreaming of those days.
Because while the really physical days of parenting are done — no more bending in half and hunching my back for hours over a struggling-to-walk toddler — parenting an older kid requires tremendous mental fortitude.
And I am not sure I have the skills necessary to survive the next few years. Here’s where I’m falling short:
Scheduling prowess
I need military-level precision to keep track of all the school projects, teacher meetings and extracurriculars — something a girl once voted most disorganised by a jury of her peers simply can’t master.
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Keep Reading
I used to be horrified when I read stories of moms using their minivan as a travelling office/dinner table/living room until my daughters began to fill every day with their various extracurricular passions.
And now, my car comes stocked with paper towels, an array of snacks (and used wrappers), and is my regular conference call spot (thank God for Bluetooth!).
Mind reader
My daughter has developed a split personality, as she straddles the precarious line between childhood and adulthood.
One minute, she is begging me to let her watch The Fault in Our Stars — the next, she is saying that she is not too old for Sophia the First.
And I am never quite sure whether I am talking to the grown-up or the kiddo, which makes it hard to determine whether any suggestion I make is going to be greeted with a dramatic eye roll and sigh or excited exuberance.
It’s hard to find that happy medium where I am allowing her to learn and grow, but not learn too much, too fast.
So, despite the fact that I hear that every other parent in the fifth grade lets their children Snapchat on cellphones and watch Walking Dead Marathons, we are sticking by our guns.
Peacemaker
I simply don't have the negotiation skills necessary to get my girls to stop the battles and bickering and actually be the loving sisters I know they are deep, deep (deep) down inside. I would love to just tell my children to work it out themselves, but that often leads to tears and pain (and not just for me).
Book smarts
I was a straight A student when I was in school, but apparently I killed a lot of brain cells between then and now, or they decided to rewrite the curriculum just to make me look like the village idiot.
Either way, there were things in fourth grade maths that had me stumped, and I am frankly a bit nervous about what comes next. I hope my daughters can teach me.
I have talked a bit about my struggles with tween parenting with my mom, and she just chuckles. “Wait until they hit the teens,” she says, ominously. “That’s when parenting really gets tough.” I hope I can survive it.
Tell us: Which age was the toughest for you as a parent? Why was that?
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