News filtered through this week that civil servants were signing “integrity pledges” to fight the scourge of graft in the bureaucratic establishment.
According to the Public Service Commission general manager for talent management, Grace Machakaire, there has been a rise in corrupt practices in government institutions which the signing of integrity pledges is supposed to prevent.
The pledges were expected to promote honesty, accountability, fairness and transparency across government. Really? April Fools Day is some way off, please.
With the economy in the toilet, how else are these hardworking patriots supposed to eat? Integrity? My foot! Muck did not even know such a word existed in the vocabulary of these gallant sons and daughters that toil on behalf the people.
Thank you rallies
Soon, the country’s owner, President Emmerson Mnangagwa will stage countrywide rallies to thank impoverished Zimbabweans for overwhelmingly endorsing his outstanding leadership style during last year’s disputed elections.
The polls, organised by the world’s most efficient elections management body, the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission (Zec), were declared a sham by the Southern African Development Community (Sadc) and most other observers.
Newly elected Zanu PF legislators have heaped praises on Zec for running a credible election that was marred by delays in voting and acute shortage of voting material.
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It is ironic that after the majority of Zimbabweans voted for Mnangagwa and Zanu PF, Sadc’s election observer mission head and former Zambian vice-president Nevers Mumba, in his warped view, pointed out that the polls were flawed because they disenfranchised a large section of the opposition support base, among other reasons.
If Sadc, and Mumba in particular still think Mnangagwa’s ever rising popularity is wanning, they should come again and observe the “thank you rallies”, where sanctions resilient and patriotic Zimbabweans will repeatedly endorse the President’s bid to run for a third term against the constitutionally prescribed two terms.
‘Comedy of errors’
While Zanu PF will stage its first thank you rally in Mashonaland Central province, regarded as the hotbed of Zimbabwe’s liberation struggle, remaining democratic stalwarts within what is left of the Citizens Coalition for Change (CCC) are still haggling over ownership of the tattered political party. There are visible signs that the CCC will continue to disintegrate into meaningless shards.
As it stands, after Nelson Chamisa quit the CCC blaming the opposition’s self-imposed secretary-general Sengezo Tshabangu for recalling scores of its legislators from parliament at the behest of Zanu PF, the political party’s squabbles are far from over.
A daring stunt by CCC’s National Standing Committee to impose Tendai Biti, Welshman Ncube and Lynette Karenyi-Kore as the outfit’s presidents on a rotational basis, was this week dismissed by a hitherto unknown interim deputy chairperson Albert Mhlanga.
This week, Mhlanga went further: he also knocked the all-too-powerful Tshabangu from his perch, just at the moment the self-imposed secretary-general was beginning to enjoy the trappings of power.
Muckraker cannot be blamed for hazarding that soon; Mhlanga will also be dragged into the mud and a cast of new actors will emerge on the theatre of CCC’s never-ending comedy.
Empty promises
While Mnangagwa’s position in power until 2028 is now cast in stone after promising the electorate that he will transform crisis-ridden Zimbabwe into a middle-income economy by 2030, South Africa’s President Cyril Ramaphosa decided to also sell his countrymen a yarn when he launched the African National Congress (ANC)’s manifesto on Saturday.
In broad daylight, Ramaphosa told South Africans packed in the Moses Mabhidha Stadium in Durban that if retained in power, the ANC would propel the country to prosperity, despite the rolling power cuts, widespread unemployment and corruption gripping the country.
United Democratic Movement (UDM) leader Bantu Holomisa who was expelled from the ANC in 1996 for alleging that one of its ministers had received a bribe from casino mogul Sol Kerzner to secure a gambling monopoly, reminded South Africans that the ANC has been outstandingly brilliant in failing to fulfil it promises since 1994.
“The leadership of this country likes to spin everything. And spinning turns out to be nothing else but lies. You have to be careful when you are a leader of a country. You cannot continue to lie for 30 years and promise people for 30 years,” Holomisa told Newzroom Afrika TV this week.
Miracle signing
When disillusioned and lost in the labyrinth of Zimbabwe’s fluid politics, Muckracker finds an outlet of relief in local football.
Arguably, one of Zimbabwe’s finest footballers of his generation, Khama Billiat, signed a one-year contract valued at US$50 000 and a monthly salary of US$5 000 with Yadah, which is owned by Prophetic Healing and Deliverance (PHD) Ministries leader Walter Magaya.
Interestingly, Dynamos, Zimbabwe’s most successful football club formed in 1963 (the same year that Zanu PF was established) and without a stadium of its own, was left seething with anger after Billiat chose to sign for Yadah, also known as the “Miracle Boys”, instead of the not-so-Glamour Boys.
Billiat, who was the highest earning footballer in the Super Diski, was pocketing over R850 000 a month at Kaizer Chiefs. He also turned down an offer of US$20 000 signing on fee and a monthly perk of US$2 000 offered by Manica Diamonds.
It is said jilted Dynamos, sponsored by petroleum giants Sakunda Holdings and TinMac, owned by Tino Machakaire, had offered a third of what Manica Diamonds tabled for the former Warriors dribbling wizard.
“People who are around him (Billiat) are ill-advising him. I think the blame goes to his managers, starting with the decision not to renew his stay at Kaizer Chiefs,” Vincent Chawonza, then Dynamos vice-chairperson at the time said.
“I think he listens too much to the people who are around him, yet they are ill-advising him. As a player, he has made some decisions that I did not expect of him.”
Muckracker is puzzled why Dynamos are blaming Billiat for being disorganised after deciding to sign the most lucrative deal on offer tabled by the Miracle Boys.
Unexpectedly, and in a rare display of professionalism, Dynamos fired Chawonza over his comments on Billiat’s latest signing.
In its long-running track record of effectively managing its affairs, Dynamos have an unmatched history of paying its players directly from gate takings and endless squabbles on who really owns the club.
Who said wonders ever end in Africa?
