IN 2014 a Mathematician calculated that there are 177,147 ways to tie a tie, although he did admit that “I have tried 10 or 20 of them, and most of them to be quite honest look kind of awkward.” In 1840, American humourist Seba Smith wrote in a short story ‘The Money Diggers’: “As it is said, 'There are more ways than one to skin a cat,' so are there more ways than one of digging for money.” We may not be in the habit of skinning cats so we shall leave that alone. In the 1970s Paul Simon had a hit song entitled ‘Fifty Ways to Leave your Lover’, where the singer explained that “You just slip out the back, Jack; Make a new plan, Stan; You don’t need to be coy, Roy; Just get yourself free. Hop on the bus, Gus; You don’t need to discuss much; Just drop off the key, Lee and get yourself free”. It all sounds so easy and enticing! Then there are equally many ways to cook an egg; boil, fry, scramble, bake and poach, being some. Each way has its own merits, taste and variations.
“So what?” we may cry. It all may help us to consider how many ways there are to develop our school’s sporting reputation. In effect, in very simple terms, it comes down to the fact that there are two ways to develop our school’s sporting reputation – coaching or poaching. Let us not be wary of broaching the subject of coaching and poaching in school sport.
When it comes to coaching them, we can treat them like professionals or we can treat them like the children that they are. Too many external (club) coaches treat pupils as adults, as robots, as professionals. We must understand, respect and work with them at their own level.
We must encourage and exhort them. We must coach them at the level suitable to their age, development and ability. Similarly, we can coach them skills and tactics but we must coach them holistically and above all on values and life lessons. Sport is co-curricular, teaching them things not learned in the classroom but complementing what is being taught in the classroom.
That is what education is about. Yes, there are different ways to coach youngsters; we must ensure it is done correctly in a school context. It is for the wider education and development of the children, not for the coach’s ego or CV, and certainly not for the school’s reputation.
But of course, some may prefer to use the poaching route, to bring about instantaneous success. Some may have similar approaches that are found in the Simon song: “You just slip out the back, Jack; Make a new plan, Stan; You don’t need to be coy, Roy; Just get yourself free. Hop on the bus, Gus; You don’t need to discuss much; Just drop off the key, Lee and get yourself free”. In more general ways, it may be done by approaching parents and offering scholarships to children who have been coached well by other coaches and getting them to change school (thus depriving a current member of that school a longed-for place in the team). No coaching has been done.
It is interesting that this year a number of strong sporting schools did not send their talented rugby players for the national Under 14 trials, making the team sent to the tournament in South Africa less than truly representative. The reason was not that they would be beaten by bigger, stronger, more dangerous teams but they knew their best players would be poached by schools, academies and provinces down south. They did not want the very players that they had poached (or shall we soften it slightly by saying ‘coaxed’?) to be poached from them!
This writer echoes the lines in the Paul Simon song, “It’s really not my habit to intrude. Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued. But I’ll repeat myself at the risk of being crude”.
We need twenty strong schools, not six or seven, for Zimbabwe rugby to be strong. We need to be concerned for the children’s education and the country’s development more than our school’s reputation. There is greater kudos in showing how we have developed youngsters over a period of time rather than allowing others to do the hard work and then snatch them away to gain the glory.
Let us not get tied up over this, nor be cooked about it. Let us not get skinned alive. There are more ways than one to win a match, yes, but poaching does not need to be one of them. At the end of the day, or the season, if we are not careful, sport will lose its lovers.