"FRAILTY, thy name is woman!” Famous words, spoken by Hamlet in Shakespeare’s play of that name, spoken when he looks on at his mother, so pleased to be sitting on the Danish throne beside her new husband, the brother of her former husband who had only been dead less than a month, her husband who had treated her so caringly, who was so different from his brother whom she now had married.
Hamlet is cast beyond simple disappointment into deep despair and depression in seeing this all playing out before his eyes. He feels totally betrayed, let down, by his mother’s actions.
Centuries later, a hugely popular group from another Scandinavian country sang many songs that had a similar theme of the frailty in relationships.
ABBA came to the fore in the 1970s initially with their hit song ‘Waterloo’ which considered the theme of finally facing our failures and falls, about “Finally facing my Waterloo”.
Later they would sing the song ‘The Winner Takes It All’ where in similar relationships to those that Hamlet spoke about, we can lose in relationships as well as in sport; that is the reality - “The winner takes it all, The loser's standing small, Beside the victory; That's her destiny… But I was a fool Playing by the rules…The gods may throw a dice, Their minds as cold as ice, And someone way down here Loses someone dear. The winner takes it all; The loser has to fall. It's simple and it's plain; Why should I complain?”
The theme is carried into another ABBA song ‘One of Us’, which laments that in relationships, “One of us is crying, One of us is lying, In her lonely bed Staring at the ceiling, Wishing she was somewhere else instead. One of us is lonely, One of us is only Waiting for a call, Sorry for herself, feeling stupid feeling small, Wishing she had never left [lost] at all”.
There is a more reasoned approach in their song ‘When All Is Said And Done’, with the realisation that “It's so strange, when you're down, and lying on the floor, How you rise, shake your head, get up and ask for more… Standing calmly at the crossroads, no desire to run; There's no hurry anymore when all is said and done”.
Ultimately, though, in ‘Thank You For The Music’, there is the understanding that in each of us, while we may not think we are anyone special, there lurks a talent for which we should be thankful, even when relationships appear to let us down.
Overriding these songs is one other song about relationships, the heartfelt query as to ‘What's the name of the game?’ Consider the plaintive cry: “What's the name of the game? Does it mean anything to you? Can you feel it the way I do? Tell me please, 'cause I have to know; I'm a bashful child, beginning to grow… If I trust in you, would you let me down? Would you laugh at me, if I said I care for you?” What is the name of the game? Is it frailty?
No, the name of the game is sport; it is soccer, rugby, cricket, basketball, hockey, netball, all sport. Many youngsters may well have similar thoughts to those above concerning relationships, as they reflect on how we present sport to them.
What is the name of the game? Does it mean anything to them? Can they feel it the way we do? Would they laugh at us, if we said we care for sport? Could they feel the same way too? Surely we want to know. What’s the name of the game?
When it comes to sport, the reality appears to be that the winner takes it all, the loser is standing small; the sporting gods may throw a dice, their minds as cold as ice. The fact is one of us is losing, is crying, sorry for herself, feeling stupid, feeling small, wishing she had never lost at all.
When all is said and done, they are left with no desire to run, to play. They face their Waterloo and are destined to feel defeated. When they reach such a point, they may think they are nothing special, in fact … a bit of a bore … But they still have talent, a wonderful thing … so must be grateful for the sport, for the games they are playing, for all the joy they are bringing.
Ultimately, the name of the game is not frailty but sport; it has the ability to cut us down, to disappoint but more importantly, it is only a game; so, as one viral video has it, “Why you heff to be mad?” If we care for sport, let us teach our children to see sport in perspective; it is not at the end of the day (or life), highly significant; it has no real lasting consequences.
We have to tell them; they have to know. What is the name of the game: Sport is frailty, simple and plain. No need to complain.