The early generations took pride in sex within marriage; the current generation is much more tolerant of premarital sex than earlier generations. Acceptance of premarital sex has moved from a minority position to a majority position.
The media in our time has portrayed a kiss as a sign of love, and sex is encouraged; people even boast about how many sexual partners they have had. Films and even society have accepted that young girls and boys as young as 15 years can kiss and fondle, and it seems to be acceptable.
Society has accepted that sex outside of marriage is a sign of love for each other. But I choose to believe sex outside of marriage is being selfish and is only for self-satisfaction. It is not, in any way, a sign of love.
Love is to abstain because to abstain is self-enforced restraint in order to show your partner you will wait for the marital bed. It is easier to give in to your sexual desires than it is to honor your fiance.
When you try to preach about sex in the church, it makes people uncomfortable, yet it is affecting our youth and even the married in the church. Sex in our time is a click away, and in this cyber age, pornographic material makes billions of dollars annually. Parents don’t want to think their children are sexually active, and the media has given youth a negative picture about sex and sexuality.
Have you ever talked to your child, or as a child, have you ever sat down with your parents to talk about sex? In the African family structure, a child can never discuss sex with their mother and father, and it is the role of aunts who try to speak about it when a person has already been sexually active for years.
There are no healthy discussions about sex. If we don’t start talking about sex in the church, our children will learn about it from the world. We don’t usually talk about sex in the church, and the only time the youth are taught about sex is during marriage counseling sessions before the wedding, yet our youth are sexually active.
HIV affects Christian youth more because you will never find a condom in a Christian brother's wallet. The youth in the church are caught unprepared because they become intimate, and before they can stop, they would have had unprotected sex.
A prostitute in the street is safer from HIV than the people in the church because she or he will never be intimate without a condom on his/her person. The Bible has shown us individuals like Joseph, who was tempted to sleep with a very influential and attractive woman, yet he ran away.
It is impossible to kiss and fondle without it leading to sex. Online sex or sex chat has become common among the youth, and these streams of unchanneled sexual desire lead to people walking in sin, and the Bible speaks on this by saying flee from any appearance of sin.
Avoid sex before marriage by abstaining from anything that promotes sexual desires either through conversations or fondling. You can never abstain from sex if you don’t abstain from environments that encourage sexual behavior. Can we create safe environments for our children and youths to learn about sex?
In an era where premarital sex is embraced, and the media glorifies intimacy, the shift from conservative values is evident. Society now applauds sex, even among teens. However, the true essence of love lies in self-restraint and commitment, not in momentary pleasures. Uncomfortable conversations about sex in churches contribute to a void filled by the media and the Internet's explicit content. Failing to address this in the church exposes the youth to risks like HIV. Our youth should maintain the principles upheld by biblical figures like Joseph. It's time for open dialogues, creating a safe spaces for learning, ensuring our youth's well-being, and fostering a healthier perspective on sex.
- Humphrey Mtandwa is an apostolic teacher of the word of God and founder of Believers Voice of Triumph Ministries. He has authored many books, including The Enoch Generation, Truthfulness, Night Parables and Theophany. If you want to connect with him or have any questions, get in touch on www.apostlehumphrey.com