EVERY era has its heroes.
We all know about Sekuru Kaguvi and Mbuya Nehanda, Zimbabwe’s heroes who dared to challenge the colonial regimes in the 1st Chimurenga.
We also know of the heroes of the 2nd Chimurenga. Josiah Tongogara, Herbert Chitepo, the Chinamanos, Teurai Ropa Nhongo (Joice Mujuru) and her husband Rex Nhongo (Solomon Mujuru) including one Robert Mugabe, our former owner of this beautiful Zimbabwe.
Heroes come and go and when Mugabe turned into a tyrant, we had Morgan Tsvangirai and his MDC party who challenged the status quo.
We are, however, worried that the current regime is not being challenged enough and has become so brazen, looting our gold, diamonds, lithium and other precious minerals, and have its leading cheer leader in the form of one Passion Java question us: Saka muchaitei? (So, what are you going to do about it)
And it needs heroes like Masimba Craig Maganira, the 26-year-old from Epworth who dared our current owner’s security when he was addressing the ruling and rural party faithful last weekend.
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It is a relief that Maganira appeared in court facing criminal charges of disorderly conduct and unlawful possession of drugs.
On other days, we would have never heard of him again after his heroic act.
Things have really changed under the Second Republic.
The security details that searched Maganira, after ruffling and plucking some feathers behind the big tent, found him in possession of a twist.
He remains in custody and we hope to see him on May 7 when he comes back to court.
Beautiful queens
Muckraker is very fond of the beautiful City of Kings.
Bulawayo is the opposite of Harare.
There is no chaos, people walk the streets freely, cars move smoothly and, generally, Bulawayo is organised and clean.
But the Hararians are in Bulawayo this week for the Zimbabwe International Trade Fair and I can bet my last Zimdollar, the people from Harare took their chaos to that beautiful city.
Our chefs are fond of spending money and we know they are there with their several wives and girlfriends.
We also know that while they are all in Bulawayo, the chefs also carry out their evil deeds, which I will not elaborate on because we all know them, in the city of beautiful queens.
Next week the stories will be coming out.
After all, our owners and their friends are good at asking for kisses, otherwise they will “die”.
Nice loser
Justice Mayor Wadyajena, the legislator who vowed that he was not going anywhere after his arrest last year, is not a sore loser.
We should applaud him for taking the punch straight on the jaw and laughing about it.
He did not lose once but twice to former Cabinet minister Flora Bhuka after the owners at Shake-Shake House thought the people of Gokwe-Nembudziya would forgive and forget. How wrong they were. Wadyajena was beaten clean.
He, however, set Twitter alight after mocking fellow loser Ziyambi Iambi who was ditched by 2 000 of his supporters after trying to arm-twist the party systems and win nomination through the back-door.
Ziyambi was never popular in Zvimba West as he narrowly won the 2018 election.
Whatever the Zanu PF leaders were looking for after calling for a re-run, we are still wondering.
But Wadyajena should play nice, especially to Ziyambi, who remains a Politburo member.
The fish, the water
The silly season is upon us.
Our current owner is set to battle the energetic Nelson Chamisa of the Citizens’ Coalition for Change (CCC) in yet another epic election.
Zanu PF has already hit the campaign trail while the CCC is still on social media and the rather lean private media.
As much as Chamisa is a charming politician, he still has to learn that politics is in the grassroots.
Zimbabweans are generally people with a strong history etched in the liberation struggle where Maoism was the principal doctrine during the war.
The people are the water that protects the fish.
If Chamisa fails to work with the people (water), the CCC (fish) will not survive the next election.
I would rather dare the CCC because Muckracker will definitely receive a backlash from its supporters like what Hopewell Chin’ono has suffered in recent weeks.
Muckracker also senses serious intolerance from the refuseniks in the wannabe pastor’s party.
That is the lot of opposition politics in Zimbabwe.
The less said about the More Drink Coming party the better.
Blah, blah, blah!?
Still on Chamisa, twice last week he told the media that his supporters voted in the Zanu PF primary elections.
He said his people were forced to participate in the Zanu PF internal polls and they did so to protect themselves.
The only thing that is of concern is that Chamisa is exposing the ordinary Zimbabweans who would suffer the wrath of the ruining Zany PilFering goons.
That is the problem when you have a leader who talks too much.
The Zany party, through the Forever Associates of Zimbabwe (FAZ) and Heritage Trust, has the names of all the people who participated in their elections through cells.
We are afraid the ruling party would frog-march these villagers and residents to vote for Mnangagwa.
Even the sexy Kembo Mohadi was explicitly clear that traditional leaders would be leading their subjects to the polling stations.
And that is where rigging starts and ends.
We can start preparing for the courts where Chamisa will take the case again.
Oh! By the way he said it would be Mnangagwa going to the courts this time.
Uhm!
Forgiven
Teurai Ropa Nhongo aka Joice Mujuru joined the country’s owners in Mt Darwin for the Independence feeding programme.
It has been sometime since we last saw her in the public.
She shared some hugs and fake kisses with the country’s owner and the Page 2 Auxillia, in front of thousands who were watching the spectacle.
Teurai Ropa is from Mt Darwin and she was a long time MP for that area. It was refreshing to see her celebrate the iconic day in her home area.
But was ED not the guy who plotted her downfall?
Muckraker is certain that ED used Grace Mugabe as a front to bring down the storied freedom fighter’s downfall.
Grace’s late husband, a political chess master of note, was apparently either too old to read the chessboard, or just could not be bothered. He paid the price in November 2017.
The same people were disputing the narrative that Teurai Ropa downed a helicopter during the liberation struggle.
We also got to know that Teurai Ropa was actually Runaida Mugari before assuming the nom de guerre during the war and later Joice Mujuru.
But what does Teurai Ropa’s public appearance at a national event mean for CCC ahead of the elections?
Time to bury the past?