Before going to press on the Zimbabwe currency crisis, I had seven questions I wanted authoritatively answered. Professor Gift Mugano was the answer.
“Isn’t he the one who is supposed to disappear, or something?” Was the immediate reply from my secret source. That took me by surprise. I didn’t know what to say or to do, to laugh or to cry.
Before I could ask the question why, my source volunteered the answer.
“He has been saying that the proposed ZIG currency is fool’s gold.” He spoke calmly.
It is true that Brother Gift had given a podcast interview and said some words, which were interpreted in that manner.
His words were to the effect that no change in direction can be expected from government, or from a ZiG currency unless the fundamentals were altered.
Now, I was thrown into a different direction. I asked my long-time-go-to friend in Masvingo why Brother Gift is on a disappearance list.
“It means it is an open secret which everybody knows but no one will confess no knowledge of the matter.” With some seriousness he added: “I know you Kenny, you think this is funny. Don’t mention my name. I, myself, will personally come and kill you.”
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I did think it was funny. Brother Gift is taking some sabbatical at the University of Durban, South Africa, away from his tormentors. I objected to the use of pronouns by my longtime friend in Masvingo, “I, myself, will personally kill you.”
One pronoun is enough for God’s sake. I was now in an uproarious attitude, laughing my lungs out.
When Rhodesia gave way to Zimbabwe, Ian Smith left some trade balance in the amount US$2,5 billion.
The Zimbabwe dollar was valued at US$1.35 and nobody in his right mind wanted to keep a stupid US$ in his pocket.
Further, migration was towards Zimbabwe. The US embassy granted 10-year visas to Zimbabweans.
Peugeot, Citroen, Mazda and Nissan assembled cars in Mutare and Harare. African Coach Builders built bud frames in Harare as did the star of the show, Zambezi Coachworks which built DAF, AVM, and Royal Tigers.
Does anybody remember check books?
Sometime in 1997 when war veterans were allowed Zee 50 000 each, and their numbers doubled from 30 000 to 60 000 in a matter of seven weeks, the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe became both a manufacturer of money, a retail bank as well as a referee.
Our readers cannot see this humour in all this. Governor Gideon Gono had a slew of grocery stores under the name of baccosi, which anybody who went to school would have known were unsustainable. When he printed a Zee 10-billion-dollar bill, he scored his own goal.
All the giant companies mentioned above were run out of town because Gono was now in the business of choosing which businesses were patriotically acceptable. Gono is not a fool, but a horrible sinner.
In his book: A Casino Economy — he acknowledges the error of his ways, the very accusations he made against Julius Makoni and Mthuli Ncube.
Makoni and Ncube were using their investment assets to secure value by entering the property or vehicle market-precisely because the Zee dollar was losing value every day.
He wanted them hanged on a tree. As many as fifty small-time bankers fled into exile in 2008.
A redefinition of the problem is that the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe is the mother of all criminal activities in the street by having abandoned its role as a supervising bank; adopting a new role as a player, a competitor-supervisor, a lender to preferred patriotic customers, and then a referee in a game in which it has a towering presence.
In his letter to the Chronicle,(11/19/ 2019) Ncube argues for the return of the Zee dollar. “Zimbabwe was once the breadbasket of Africa. Now its balance of payments is negative. But with control of our currency, we can claim the best part of our past and resume our place in the world economy as an export-led nation soon.”
That sentence is the best example of neo-liberal World Bank abracadabra par excellence. The Rhodesian economy was 33% agro-based and self-sufficient. All the businesses I mentioned above were supplying Rhodesian needs.
The creation of surplus was the result of their efficiency and exports came about because Rhodesian goods were superior to those on the world market.
At the time of going to press, the ZiG brothers, reserve bank manager, Dr. John Mangudya, George Guvamataga and Professor Mhuli Ncube, have cooked out a new scheme to bamboozle Zimbabweans out of their hard-earned cash.
These brothers are serious malefactors. They have been joined by a fresh “fighter” who promises to eclipse the trio as their chief malefactor. These brothers have a lot of book sense but not the slightest common sense.
The word virtue is not in their vocabulary. In their repertoire every audience must be taken advantage of and they do not take prisoners. .
In his letter, Ncube says that the “Zimbabwe dollar, comprising RTGS and bond notes, is now the designated sole legal tender in Zimbabwe — pending the rollout of a fiat currency later in the year.”
Professor Mugano, and I agree with him; these brothers are full of nonsense in their heads.
The letter was written in November 2019. They cannot explain why, if the Zee dollar was, from that date, (November 19. 2019) became the “sole legal tender in Zimbabwe”, in April 2023, we are still talking about the US dollar.
I was at the Bulawayo Sun Hotel when I realised I needed some Zim dollars for bus fare. This story illustrates Zimbabwean humour. .
“Please take this Mudhara to Vakomana. He wants to change maUSA.” The clerk called a policeman.
Without any feeling of shame or contradiction, the policeman took me to Shell Company Service Station, 100 yards away.
A mukomana was seated on a chair, buying "USAs" with crisp new Zim dollars. His Mercedes Benz was parked 20 feet away.
I say to Brother Mushayavanhu; “The fault dear Brutus is not with our stars, (the ZiG), but in ourselves (the malefactors at RBZ) that we are underlings.”
- Ken Mufuka is a Zimbabwean patriot. He writes from the US.
