After spending years telling the masses that the CCC has no structures and it's finished, the authorities have over recent weeks decided to offer their publicity services, unsolicited, to the opposition party to show that this was all a lie.
First, they sent their people to Murewa to show the world that, indeed, the CCC has support on the ground among the ordinary people in rural areas. We had been told that none of them had ever heard of this CCC party.
Then, just as the world was still adjusting to this fact, the authorities displayed even more political generosity. They sent their publicity goons, disguised as police officers, to mess with a meeting of the opposition in Budiriro.
Yet again, they succeeded in revealing to the world that the opposition was indeed organising on the ground, contrary to previous claims.
We fully expect Nelson Chamisa to send a letter of gratitude to Zanu PF in due course, for yet another round of free campaigning for his cause. Who needs campaigning when your opponent can be trusted to do this for you?
Watch out
Following the arrest of dozens of opposition miscreants, we can only hope that people are paying attention to the criminal charges brought against them. This is important, lest some of you fall into the temptation of committing the same dastardly crimes.
According to The Herald, the national paper of record, “the 25, who were allegedly clad in CCC regalia that include caps, helmets and T-shirts gathered at house number 9239, Vhumba Crescent Budiriro SB, Harare pursuant to the alleged invitation on social media platforms”.
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The paper further reported: “While at the gathering, they allegedly chanted CCC political party slogan ‘Ngaapinde hake Mukomana, 2023 Chamisa chete chete’ meaning ‘let the boy get in, 2023 Chamisa only’, according to the State.”
The masses are urged to look past the almost comical translations to take a serious look at what constitutes a crime in the New Dispensary. You cannot wear clothes of a certain colour — especially helmets — and expect to keep walking our liberated streets freely. Secondly, you cannot be talking about a “boy” getting into power. Has the country run out of elders?
Petty thief
In Chinhoyi, leaders of the reeling Zanu PF party have suspended the head of the alleged youth wing.
It is alleged that Tapiwa Masenda, the chairman of the Zanu PF youth wing in Mashonaland West, ganged up with fellow party rabble rousers and set upon a foreign national who is running a mine over in Mhangura.
“The accused in the company of three others, are said to have requested for keys to the fuel tank where they filled a BMW X5 with diesel. They also filled two containers with 60 litres of diesel,” we are told.
According to the party, Masenda is accused of bringing “shame to the name of the party by engaging in violence”, and “using the name of the party and his position to commit the offences.”
This must be a shock to all upstanding members of the party that such acts of violence and theft now bring “shame” to their party. Since when? And, also, since when did using the name of the party to commit crimes become a crime? You are starting to confuse party members now.
Not-for-profit circle
More and more confusion is coming from party headquarters. Over the past year, we have all seen “4ED” groups sprouting around the nation in solidarity with our great leader. From Men believED, Miners for ED, Teachers for ED, Health workers for ED, Councillors for ED and Driving Schools for ED, Opposition for ED, Robbers for ED, and so forth.
But Mike Bimha, the Zanu PF commissar, seems to be telling us that his party is not too chaffed with some of these patriotic groups. “We welcome the proliferation of these organisations which are to support the party, there to support the president, support our objective of achieving five million plus voters for the president and the party,” Bimha told journalists.
His worry, he says, is that some of these groups are just in it for the money.
“Affiliates are not formed to get loans from the party. The party does not give any loan for projects,” Bimha said.
The masses are puzzled to hear this from you, Cde Bimha. Do you mean to tell us that people join Zanu PF for any other reason other than to make a quick buck?
Surely, what other reason could there be to join the party?
Weird training
It was reported recently that police officers have been made to sit through “Zanu PF ideology classes”. We are told that the junior cops are being taught about the reeling party and being told to vote for it.
The police deny this, naturally, with their spokesman telling the press that this is just “civic education”.
Of course, some unpatriotic cops are whining about the issue. They even complain that they are poorly paid and hungry as if that is important to the owners of the country.
One unpatriotic cop was quoted as whining: “But it is not only the junior cops who are discontented over the training and other issues.
Even some high-ranking officials are not happy about how police work has been reduced to mere politicking. Behind the scenes, everything is not well. The officers are disgruntled.”
Muckraker is sure that it is a lie that the cops are being taught “Zanu PF ideology”.
This would suggest that the party has any ideology to teach. The Zanu PF we know and love has none of that useless stuff.
Free education?
Muckraker commiserates with those among us who are shocked that they had to pay school fees at the start of the new term, when our owners promised free education in 2022. We are now told that we were never promised free education in 2022 and that free education will only be gradual.
“We are expecting that the number will increase gradually as we move towards a complete basic state-funded education,” the Ministry of Primary and Secondary Education said.
What is shocking is that people were expecting our owners to honour their promises. If they kept their promises, then surely they would no longer be real Zanu PF leaders.
