IMAGINE loving someone with all your being and showing up for them in the most authentic way and exploring ways to become better together.
Then one day, you discover that the person you loved so dearly and treasured is loving other people the same and giving them a similar narrative you thought only the two of you shared.
Oh my, the level of betrayal and near madness one could easily experience because of this. I mean I have heard people get murdered for these kind of things.
This here is a narrative many women have had to live with and are constantly told to bath more, pray more and be better, every day.
When someone you love splashes the same love to another in what you deemed was an exclusive monogamous relationship, that does something to your soul and the root to recovery is healing.
The healing is chaotic and takes time. How many of us have ever been betrayed and hurt like this? Living with pain Love goes beyond people; it can include many different aspects but in this article, I will focus on a human beings’ heart space. The human soul has the capacity to experience a gazillion emotions.
Each one of us has the capacity to love deeply and wholly. As humans we experience life and have various opportunities to love and even behold.
Many of us have been blessed in that way. It takes a lot to bounce back once the experience of love has been shattered by the notion of betrayal.
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Now, many women have faced this kind of trauma and have often had to explore how best to show up wholly like they know no pain. It is very difficult as many of them would be nursing mothers, wives, community leaders and all sorts.
What is even more devastating is that society thinks it is normal for women to show up ”faking” wholeness whilst they are in actual fact bruised and battered within.
It is just wrong.
Now, hear me here, women, though in the majority to experience brokenness due to betrayal, men too experience more or less the very same pain.
Every human being has a heart and this heart once betrayed takes on another form of being. One can never tell who they become after they have been hurt.
Pain changes the soul and turns once kind hearted people into their animalistic narratives. Pain is such a destructive force when left unchecked!
Zimbabwe has undergone a series of transformations from pre-colonial, colonial and post-colonial eras. Each era leaves many with a heart that has experienced betrayal, pain and suffering.
With no deliberate ways to ensure healing, you find that many Zimbabweans are living through life in a zombie state. Sometimes the pain, agony and suffering of betrayal for a better day is just too much. I was attending a soccer social last weekend and had a conversation with a man who told me that he came to Zimbabwe a couple of decades ago and he was comparing life in Zimbabwe from the 1990s.
He reminisced about the strength of the Zimbabwean dollar compared to the United States dollar.
We agreed that times had changed and that with what is happening in Zimbabwe at the moment, many are suffering and that there is need to be as kind as possible!
Heartbreaks have been experienced by many of our people as Zimbabwe. Forgiveness is as hard as it is for a women who have suffered the blow of betrayal in an exclusive monogamous relationship.
It hurts to be an honest, loving Zimbabwean of integrity today. It is almost like a faithful wife or girlfriend who everyone knows is being cheated but that very person is oblivious to what will be happening in their life.
We honestly need to become better at making life work for each and every Zimbabwean. I was joking recently that Zimbabwe has enough mineral wealth to make each one of us a millionaire.
All we need to do is become less selfish and corrupt!
Living with the pain of having been betrayed by family, community, statespersons is gruesome and a pain one has to constantly deal with so as not to become exactly what caused the very same pain.
It is hard for many hence the drama we often witness on the streets as we attempt to make life work with each day.
Forgiveness
If you have ever read the Bible or heard a sermon from the Bible, you know of the biblical phrase “forgive them Father for they know not what they do”. That is the attitude we need to employ. As we go through life, knowing that pain happens to good people and this pain could be from friends, lovers and the country.
Unless we forgive, we perpetuate pain, woundedness and brokenness. Choose to forgive and live a life of peace. Sometimes we may never understand what we are up against but we choose to forgive them for they know not what they do.
May we each grow from whatever broke us knowing that we have not yet arrived but continue to seek that which is healing. Zimbabwe needs it and it begins with you dearest reader.
We keep pushing until we achieve our healing through forgiveness. It does not mean we have forgotten, but we are choosing love over pain and we can indeed heal, eventually with all the chaos that journey brings. We keep pushing, hoping and trusting for the very best. Until then, we live, laugh and love louder in a bid to show the world that we were here, becoming better, making our mark, and leaving our footprint as we make the world a better place!
Chirenje writes in her personal capacity as a citizen of Zimbabwe. Twitter: @graceruvimbo; Facebook: Grace Chirenje; Instagram: @graceruvimbo.
