If you look back to what and how the family used to be and how it functions these days, you will not fail to notice that the whole system is falling apart seriously.
Relationships: Kilton Moyo
The influence, love, care, unity, power and deliberate focus the family had now looks lost and it is now an-each-man-for-himself kind of approach.
In the past, the family was one unit despite any challenges.
Parents were in charge and children were children and not their parents’ bosses.
Currently, the system looks like it is struggling to hold together. There are many reasons for this and I want to look at just a few very simple, but dangerous reasons for the collapse of families and in marriage.
Understand that for the family to collapse, the marital relationship falls apart first.
It would appear to me that these inseparable relationships suffer the same consequences, therefore.
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Marriage is the foundational relationship for the family. The fast pace of change in life. We are living in times when all things change all the time.
The pace of life is confusing even to those who create it. Most people are trying to cope with the changes in the world and in the process are losing themselves trying to fit into a crazy mold of the world.
This is a pitiful sight. When you are chasing after the world, you tend to lose the essentials because the spirit of the world loves the temporary and destroys the useful.
The spirit of the world destroys the foundations and deceives you into building on sand and foolishness that has been duped wisdom.
It is a sad thing, therefore, to see so many of us losing it all chasing the winds of the world.
How do we see this?
People are too busy
People are too busy for their own lives.
People are too busy chasing a kind of life that is a lie.
We have this thing in our minds of a life that we think we deserve and we become so busy chasing it at the expense of normalcy.
We are too busy to build a family.
We are too busy we cannot parent, guide or even have time with the ones we love. We are ever away, everywhere and doing everything.
Couples are separated and scattered everywhere in the name of careers or working for the family.
How do you work for the family while neglecting it and without it?
Instead of going all over carrying our suitcases, I believe we should be carrying our marriages and families.
In days like these, never put down your marriage, it will be destroyed. In days like these, never put down your family, it will be destroyed.
There are too many things we are carrying as a priority, which are just a burden.
Your marriage and family are a priority. People are overwhelmed by work. We are a working generation.
There is nothing wrong with working, but working must not be senseless and must not deprive us of our lives.
We work to improve the quality of our lives, but when working stresses us, it loses its value. We are everywhere working far away from our families.
Have you ever seen it this way; that most of our people working, even in neighbouring South Africa, have lost their families?
They went to work and worked and worked and forgot their families.
They got into the mode of just working hoping one day they will come back home rich, but that day never came.
Unfortunately, for some, when they returned, they were either dead themselves or their families were long gone. Imagine how it is to live as a family hoping one day dad will come home from work with money, but it never happens.
How many families have lost themselves in this misplaced hope? Beloved, work becomes meaningless if it robs us of the beauty of life.
Work is meant to enable us to live better. The problem is not work, but our attitude of trying to catch up with a satanic world that is moving at an electric pace towards its destruction.
Because of this fast pace, being too busy and overwhelmed by work, we have limited time for our families and spouses. We have no energy for our own self-discipline and even spiritual growth.
We have neglected everything that matters for everything that is secondary. It is so easy for the world to chase wind than reality.
We find it a waste of time to attend to our spiritual growth and find it so nice and exciting to waste time.
We are so fast in embracing short term therapies to pump up our egos and flesh.
We have all the time for such, but we have no time for the real things, marriage, family and our spiritual growth.
What we are becoming in the spirit is what impacts on our lives. It is what is happening in our lives.
My encouragement, as a pastor, counsellor and family life coach, is that we attend to things that matter the most first.
Lose what you can, but never lose your family. Success, at the end of the day, in the eyes of God, will be what became of your offspring.
We better put up a fight for the family. It is a struggle, yes, but we can win.
Do not just watch your family fall apart.
Arise and put up a worthy fight, a fight of faith.
At Citizen Africa Foundation, we exist to help you through your struggles by offering you biblical and Christ-centred coaching and training in the area of marriage and family, so you can enjoy success and walk with God in building your family.
Follow us on all our media channels and call us or write to us. You can also read our book Marriage Fitness or any of our eight books. They are available online. We are available seven days a week. Invite us or attend our meetings.
Kilton Moyo is creator of Fruitful Marriages, a renewal and enrichment programme and is pastor, counsellor and author of Marriage Fitness. Call or whatsapp on +263 775 337 207, +263 772 610 103 or [email protected]
